Wednesday, October 03, 2007

This is your hyperbole. This is your phone.

(click ad to better read copy)
Paging through Gotham, one of the editorially-bereft vanity mags of the Jason Binn (prick) Niche Media crap-pile, I happened upon this breathtaking example of laughably-overwritten luxury product copy (Me, I would have added the line Activate Your Destiny.). When the least expensive cell phone you offer costs $6,600, simple puns or over-caffeinated cheerleaders or even Catherine Zeta Jones just won't do. No, we've reached New York City realty level hyperbole here. This is some tripled distilled, oak-barrel-aged bullshit.
previously in bad copywriting:
1. "Seduce Your Palate."
2. "Blow Off An Energy Hog."
3. "O' Stupid Billboard, O' Stupid Billboard."
4. "I'm a gay man trapped in the body of a fembot."
5. What's the one word you don't want to read at an airport?


Blogger Middle Name: Stanley said...

$6,600! That's how many times a day I drop my phone. Let me know when these go on sale.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny post!

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Omitted line:

"The laughably small size of your penis."

11:42 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

And just as easy to lose as my free cheapo phone from Verizon!

12:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hells' a "sense of craftsmanship"? Like a dash of craftsanship? A smidgen of style? Are they saying you can almost feel how they almost crafted this beauty?

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If he keeps dialing like that he'll go blind...

1:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How can it possibly be overblown if it's selling/justifying a $6600 phone??? \I thought it was pretty well-written for what it was, actually.

3:32 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

yeah magyar, I guess it's more just badly written as opposed to overwritten.

3:35 PM  

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