The most sexist beer ads ever produced?

(click ads for closer look)
WOW. I thought this Czech blow-up doll beer commercial was bad. These ads for Coopers Premium Light Lager via Singapore (all male creative team, naturally) hit women with a double shot of misogyny. "Only 2.9% alcohol" reads the copy, meaning you'll stay sober enough to notice that the pretty party girl is a fatty(L) and that the chesty bar girl is an ugly (she's quite cute, actually). I'm not even going to go into all the bad Photoshopping/retouching. And these ads just won a bronze medal in the Press category at the Cannes advertising festival. Amazingly, unforgivably tasteless. (previously: 1, 2 more examples of misogynistic ads)
update 6pm: you'll notice that that blond has an engagement ring on her left hand. Also you'll notice that the freckled-girl is very young. So, I think that my pretty/fatty, chesty/ugly interpretation is not what the agency/advertiser is trying to communicate. They're trying to say 'drinking Coopers keeps you from hitting on engaged women or underage girls.' Though, judging by the comments, they've failed miserably (but still, why is the blond overweight? Anybody?). Either way, they're still bad, sexist ads. update: What do you think? Go vote on a poll about the ads on PollsBoutique.

Ladies—what do think of these Men's Health Magazine ads?

(click ads) The ads are for the German edition of Men's Health, and the translated line reads "It's All About Men." While it's certainly not clear, the message of the campaign appears to be "that's right aging babes, keep exercising you little patooties off...for us men." I'll abstain from a lengthy discussion over the shitty art direction and photography, and get right to the social implications: merely sexist or misogynistic? (images via) Previously in sexist ads. Previously in misogynistic ads.

BREAKDOWN! Why David Fincher's New GAP Ads Are Fucking Terrible.

BREAKDOWN! is a new semi-regular bullshit clickbait copyranter feature where I "break down" why popular new ads that most people like are in fact "Fucking Terrible".
____________________

GAP hired Fincher, Hollywood hero to both faux-tough misogynistic MRM douchebags (Fight Club) and passive-aggressive noodle-armed misogynistic tech douchebags (The Social Network), to shoot its new Fall denim commercials.

And man, are they bad.

What's usually not clear when a brand/ad agency brings in a big shot film director is how much of the resulting work was the agency's idea and how much was the director's. But I'm guessing since it's motherfucking Fincher, GAP/Wieden & Kennedy NYC gave him the freedom to shoot whatever the Hell he wanted as long it was good-looking Gen Y's/Gen Z's wearing denim.

Fincher's goal with these "films" was to create "positive anxiety", according to GAP's poetic press release. Huh. The feeling they evoke in me is more "negative nothingness". Watch and see what you feel.

"Drive"

"The uniform of rebellion and conformity".

Uniform. Rebellion. Conformity. Ying-Yang-ish soaked beautiful girl removes her wet GAP jeans in car and carelessly, rebelliously throws them in the front seat between a beautiful GAP-wearing couple (Not her parents, I guess. Woman is too young.) Not-as-beautiful-as-the-other-three backseat friend is not amused. Bearded man is resigned. Woman is very concerned. What acting! Note that woman is driving some kind of vintage car. The vintage music is "L'amour la Mort" (love death) by French jazz pianist Martial Solal from the 1960 Jean-Luc Godard film "Breathless". The car and music are meant to invoke "timelessness".

What mystery! What positive anxiety! What pointlessness! But, that's the point, you see. Life is pointless. And dark. And normal. So, Dress Normal. Or something. Fuck narrative, and fuck you, consumer.

Do you now, finally, want to wear GAP clothes?
I didn't think so.

"Golf"

"Let your actions speak louder than your clothes".

So, don't dress like this, I guess.

Presumably this is a couple: smoking (Or is it a toothpick? Such dark mystery.) skinny jeans-wearing anti-golfer golfer; bored, Capri jeans-wearing dancer. Oh my GOD, it's like a scene from a David not-Fincher but Lynch film! Is the hipster golfer going to kill and dismember his annoying girlfriend? I know this much: I wouldn't leave his vintage BMW sitting there with the keys in it, stupid dancing soon-to-be-murdered girlie.

Music: "Wait A Minute Girl" by The Newday, for those of you who care about such things.

"Kiss"

"Dress like no one's watching".

Eh, what the fuck does that mean?

Anyway. Three men. Two of them, bearded (hipster golfer may have stubble, hard to tell). Though, this man's beard is actually a spray-on beard, because his real beard was destroying the actress's face from having to do so many takes for asshole Fincher (true story).

Wonder if the 4th spot will feature a bearded man?
This is about the only thing dramatic or "anxious" about this campaign.

"Stairs"

"Simple clothes for you to complicate".

Beard!
He's a swarthy, fast-moving man, so it's a bit hard to discern, but yes—he has a beard. He is running up the steps to presumably snog/shag the hot-assed white girl, which we can also presume he starts doing right there on the stairs since his white shirt comes floating down. Well, at least "something" happened here. But again, the sign off line is meaningless fucking drivel posing as Important.
____________________

GAP's marketing guru Seth Farbman had this to say about his campaign:

"We want these films to get people talking. Each one features a confident woman at the center and tells a story of how liberating it is when you are being your most authentic self. We believe everyone who watches them will identify with one or more of the characters. We were thrilled to work with David Fincher, one of the greats of modern American cinema and a superb storyteller. His highly detailed and authentic style resonates with the Gap brand and these films truly bring to life what our 'Dress Normal' message means."

They're not films, Seth. They're ads. Bad ads, with no story.
But please, continue:

"In the fashion world, there's a trend and a conversation around this idea that's called normcore,' I'm sort of edified in a way to see that there's a fashion trend that is more extreme but recognizes this same truth. We're not normcore, but we're seeing this same truth."

Seth? Sethy? GAP is normcore to the fucking core.

GAP's global president Stephen Sunnucks added:

"The films (sigh) were inspired by the bold and honest spirit of the millennial generation. (note: do you want this man smooching your hot young asses, Gen Yers?). Their authenticity is what makes them stand apart in today’s complex world. Gap has always stood for individuality and being your most authentic self. By challenging the idea of what it means to dress normal, we hope to inspire confidence in everyone’s own personal style."

SUMMARY: So: the campaign is Positive Anxiety. Happy Noir. Safe Danger. Rebellious Conformity. Synthetic Authenticity. Thoughtless Ideation. Uncreative Creativity.

ADDENDUM:  I know, from ten years of doing this crap, that some of you out there will be silently asking me: "OK, douchebag, then why don't you show us what you think is a good denim commercial?"

Fine. Here you go, from 2006:

"News Story"

Well look at that. Narrative, and old boring product as hero.
Ad agency: BBH London. Directed by: Frank Budgen.

Duncan Quinn: The NoLita Strangler.

(click ad for closer look)
Ad for Duncan Quinn, seller of handmade ready-to-wear and bespoke men's suits: "Savile Row meets Rock 'n Roll." His flagship store is in "louche" NoLita NYC, A second West Hollywood location opened in 2006. Trolling through his Website (that's not him in the ad, btw), his styles are quite preciously dandy. But I'm not feeling the "Rock 'n Roll" Duncan, other than the inclusion of young bearded and tattooed gents on your landing page Flash gallery. But that's what ads are for! And what's more Rock 'n Roll than strangling a blindfolded babe with a foppish tie? Edgy. Jimmy Choo beat you to the snuff vibe though, dude. Anyway, this unimaginative combo of dandy and randy is predictably popular in high-end men's fashion ads. It's simply the best way to attract the mookish misogynistic male with lots of disposable income demographic. Duncan, btw, is a qualified barrister and New York Attorney-at-Law. Which explains this advert: if there's one thing lawyers don't know how to do, it's advertise. We've seen it again and again and again and again. Duncan baby, you want some high-minded, thoughtful creative ads, you just write me, sweetheart. (scanned from the July/August City magazine) update: go to a PollsBoutique poll to vote for this ad as misogynistic.

Link Haze, 11/30/07.

• Something to go on your desk next to the misogynistic cigarette extinguisher—an equally degrading pencil sharpener. (link)
• Sirius tries to claim that npr isn't available on FM or AM. (link)
• Celestial Seasonings anti-Starbucks ads put a smile on my face. (link)
• Yet another egghead who doesn't know his ads from a hole in the ground claims the answer to effective advertising is to be found through neuroscience. Two words pal: COOKIE PUSS. (link)
• Meet the Blacks: The go-to ethnic stock photo family of choice. (link)
• The 25 most baffling toys from around the world. (link)
• AdWeek recently meekly announced a scaled back print schedule and a revamped digital plan. Here's some inside info from one of their former writers. (link)
• The couples that shit together, stay together. (link)
• Police catch suspect using the old 'Marco' 'Polo' trick. (link)
• RJ Reynolds will not run print ads next year. No more FUCK-ME Camels. (link)
• Some very sad news: Cinderella's Castle in Disney World is a B-I-G L-I-E. (link)

Fresh Catch of the Day: Misogyny.

(click ad, via)
"HA! God a fucking CUNT! That's a fucking good one. Pass me another Bud, you gay fuck. You know all this fish smell reminds me of something, can you guess what that something is? Your wife's snatch! Ha, I wouldn't go down on her with that fish's mouth! Speaking of that fish's mouth, I just took a shit in it—you'll taste that later, buddy! Fuck, I fucking hate my bitch, she's useless. Clean, cook, and blow me—is that so fucking hard? God, I wish I could stay out here forever (starts sobbing heavily)." Ad agency: Small Army, Boston, all-male creative team, duh. But seriously, that's a questionable ad headline. Previously in: Misogynistic ads.

copyranter's top 5 BuzzFeed posts of the week.

• the five most sexist/misogynistic print ads of the last five years.
• the best human billboard ad of the last 200 years.
• the best street ads of the year, so far.
• when manly men wore questionable slacks.
• 14 ineffective car alarm notes.

The New King of Blow Job Ads.

(click ad) "Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled..." Well, this ad via Singapore for the BK Super Seven Incher is the new leading "most overtly blow-jobby ad" I've ever seen, surpassing this one, this one, and even this one. Nice misogynistic touch making the woman look like a fucking blow-up doll. Note the Photoshopped-enhanced creamy white mayo. (image via, another version first seen here). related: ABSOLUT 8". update: this ad is NOT by cp+b, and just for the record, I didn't tell anybody it was.

Beer brand asks men if they're spending too much time with their wives.

(click ads, via)
Here you have the latest Australian piss-take on the age-old "Man Up" strategy for selling beer; previously, Victoria Bitter and Barons employed it by slamming that pathetically easy target, the Metrosexual.
Now Carlton is out with a more misogynistic take on the strategy. You have a choice, married males: go home, and lose some more of your manly identity, or stay out and get more shtfaced with your mates. Well, when you put it like that! And what a nice secondary message the campaign is sending over the shoulder of married men to single men—keep drinking and don't EVER enter this world of hell. Nice photo shoots, though. Ad agency: Clemenger BBDO, Melbourne.

Link Haze (from HELL), 10/19/07.

• You probably think a Michael Jackson Halloween mask couldn't possibly be scarier than his "real" face. (link)
• Violent TV shows/video games do not create violent children—I was right! (I wrote a half-ass paper on this in college). (link)
• The most misogynistic cigarette extinguisher in the history of Man. (link)
• Joe Weider is a man's man, and his old ads had big sweaty balls (unfortunately, many of the bodybuilders who used his products also used steroids, and therefore probably had small sweaty balls. (link)
• A more apt execution in the current, lazy song-lyrics Chevy campaign. (link)
• This week's buzzwordy goodness from Agency Tart: "Weekly Vertical Research Review Session." (link)
• Speaking of Sperm, DONATE IT NOW, DUMMY! (link)
• Plagiarism and advertising go together like cold milk & warm cookies. Mmm, delicious regurgitated unoriginalness. (link)
• Real estate horror stories via video. Today's is from the (cough douchebags cough) broker's POV. (link)
• "She needs energyless, artificially sweetened food and beverages like a turtle needs a seat belt (?)." (link, thanks for the tip, Chris Jarvis)
• Latest place you can't look if you don't want to see an ad—snowplow blades. (link)
• Monday was Blog Action Day for a "Green" planet. Maybe Monday should have been Green People Day for a multicultural ad industry? (link)
• 111 mostly less-than-buff men showed up to shop shirtless at a Fifth Avenue Abercrombie & Fitch. Brilliant. (link)
• The 6 most terrifying foods in the world. (link)
• The posh Claridge in London now offers 30 different bottled waters from around the world, for you fucking connoisseurs. (link)
• The "Rudy" bat, black like his heart. HAHA, your precious Yanks lost. (link)
• FINALLY, Bacon Wristbands Winners, I am NOT full of shit. I am full of LAZY. I promise you'll get your bands...by Christmas. (also, there's still ONE left!)

Sex Doll commits suicide (TV spot).

One can't help but think of Lars and the Real Girl ("Yeah, Bionca's a missionary."). What feels like a strange suicide PSA ends up being a morbid spot for the Czech Republic's most popular dating site, a dating site that is probably now populated with more men who view women as sex dolls. Which, judging by this amazingly misogynistic Czech beer commercial, is true! Join up ladies!
Ad agency: McCann Prague. Previous dating site ads:
• JDate: ugh.
• Mate1: love is a fucking puzzle.
• true.com: it's all Tits and Bikinis.
• match.com: Cupid & Fate hate you.