Art Directors Gone Wild! #10

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It's an ad for some bleach, headline translation: "Don't let bacteria have descendants in your home." WHAT?!?
Ad agency: Filadélfia Comunicação, Brazil.
Previously in: Art Directors Gone Wild!

"Hell's Angels are pussies " (print ad).

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Haha, yeah. How many of you out there would like to see an Angel accept the "unbreakable" challenge posed by this French glasses ad? Also, real brave: he's standing on a Parisian street. Ad agency: Herezie, Paris. Note: True story—I once saw a tall but flabby Hell's Angel nearly beat a ripped bodybuilder to death outside of a bar in northwestern New Jersey. The bodybuilder kept pestering the biker to fight, and finally, almost reluctantly, he took the obnoxious bullet-head up on his offer.
Previous noteworthy glasses ad: Ladies, buy these frames so men won't stare at your "sweater kittens".

Big problem in New Zealand: "Drunk Cooking"

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According to the press note, drunk cooking is one of the leading contributors to house fires in New Zealand. (Another one is probably drunk fart lighting.) How to address this Kiwi epidemic? Well, ad agency M&C Saatchi targeted pissed blokes with urinal piss-vertising in bars. You see, when you wee on the sticker, the heat sensitive ink disappears, revealing a plea to get food before you go home. No worries though about extending your drunken driving trip by swinging by the local Burger King. Previously in: Drunken Urinal Piss-vertising (via Romania).

Steve Jobs gets a less than flattering street art eulogy.

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Previously: 10 worst Jobs tribute ads.

PETA promotes fur-less love wallets (sfw).

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The Tits & Ass (both nsfw) nonprofit is partnering with the Ministry of Waxing in the UK with these graphic vagina metaphor anti-fur ads. (This one is for a Singapore location.) Aren't they clever little art directors and copywriters? When the human-haters finally launch their .xxx site, they can shoot the real thing.

Insulting Gym Ad of the Week.

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Nothing to add. Previously: the most repugnant workout ad ever (nsfw). Related: six bad gym ads (nsfw).

The best Halloween candy ad ever of all time in history.

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It's creepy and it's kooky. And it sells the shit out of Snickers. It won a Cannes Gold Lion in 2007. It was part of a campaign, but this is my favorite execution.
Ad agency: TBWA\Chiat\Day. Related: the worst Halloween ad ever.

The best Northeastern U.S. Halloween photo from yesterday.

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*slow clap*
Previously: a very disturbing Halloween photo.

The G.O.P. is the new BLACK.

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Via Gawker: These billboards are up in Texas, South Carolina and Ohio. There's also a "Martin Luther King, Jr. Was a Republican" execution. They're the work of Apostle Claver T. Kamau-Imani, a black conservative activist who has one dangly cross earring, and loves him some rockin' Herman Cain.

The worst commercial of the year?

That's what tipster TJ's email subject line was. He may be right: that ending joke is just lovely. Heck of a way to sell fucking shampoo. The thought went through my mind that this was a parody spot. No, it's real, from the P&G brand. The idiotic mook YouTube commenters love it. Anybody know the ad agency?
Via good copy/bad copy.
Related: The worst commercial ever made?

Blatant Sexist BoobsVertising of the Week.

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Well, well: It's our new friends from that unintentionally racist Belgrade casino again. No Serbian-English language barrier here, baby. Now that's a pair of Ladies, amirite boys? My knees are jerking like crazy today. Ad agency: Euro RSCG.
Repeat after me: TITS: WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL?

Women: do these ads in "Marie Claire" convince you to "Love The Body You're In"?

(click ads) The South African edition of Marie Claire asked ad agencies to create layouts for their current "body" issue. These are the noteworthy executions.
Top Left—That's depressing. Ad agency: M&C Saatchi.
Top Right—That's better, I guess. Ad agency: King James RSVP.
Bottom Left: Unoriginal (Barbie again?), and some of the call-outs are cliches (chocolate, twice?). Ad agency: Canvas Lifestyle.
Bottom Right: Well, her hair, eyes, mouth, boobs, and hoo-ha are left, so... I don't know. Ad agency: Jupiter Drawing Room.
I'm not a woman. Women: what do you think?
Related: a round-up of insulting marketing to women.

A 1950s ad that'll make the Tea Party cum.

(click ad, via) Bohn is known for their cool, futuristic post-WWII print ads. Here, they strayed into the BETTER DEAD THAN RED war. Commie Nobama is slowly poisoning this great country, ain't he—making us drink from his chalice of false hope? Related: Dickhead Steve Forbes Photoshops Obama's head into Stalin-Lenin photo.

This how they advertise diamonds in Arkansas.

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"Brandine, I hid somethin' special fer ya in the squirrel's mouth." (thanks to treehouses for the pic)
Three previous terrible diamond ads.

Racist Ad of the Week, #2.

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Hey they're just calling a spade a spade, right? And she does have an ace of spades (fake) tattoo. In defense of Belgrade's Grand Casino, this ad has probably been translated from Serbian for publicity purposes. But, I'm pretty sure somebody at their ad agency Euro RSCG speaks English well enough to know what an oopsie that headline is. Maybe they just didn't care. Previously: Racist Ad of the Week #1. Related: six retro racist ads.

Herman Cain's campaign button ROCKS.

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Though, that is a song that was written by German hippies. Very un-American. Previously: Herman Cain's first Web ad is historically insane.

Finally, an anti-drunk driving spot gets the tone right.

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Only once before have I seen a drunk driving video that didn't make me shake my head and sigh (this wonderful short film via Denmark). Usually, the commercials are either pathetically preachy or "shocking." But this one, via the New Zealand Transport Agency, talks to kids, not at them. Although calling our young hero a "bloody legend" is a bit much. Ad agency: Clemenger BBDO.

King Kong taking it up the butt for AIDS awareness.

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Fuck Fay Wray, I'm a big hairy gay ape.
The tip of the Empire State Building is certainly pretty gross, so good move snapping on the Magnum® XXXXXXXXXXL. AIDES, the French safe sex nonprofit, continues with their new questionable cartoon campaign (previously: Charlie the Trouser Snake [stupid] and the AIDS sex park [fun]). I have no idea where the ads are running. Playboy? Highlights? If you've seen them in the real world, please let me know. Ad agency: Goodby Silverstein & Partners, San Francisco.

Chapstick's female butt ad upsets females.

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Ha, this is funny. Chapstick produced this ad looking to generate some of that sweet "social media" they'd be hearing so much about. And generate it did. Many, many women went to their facebook page to register their displeasure with this butt ad, according to SFGate. And Chapstick summarily deleted every single one of their comments. "Be Heard!" They did leave comments from men though, like this one: "after looking at this pic i know right where i wanna hide my chapstick." I think Suzy Chapstick was moderating the comments.
Related: copyranter's ample ASSvertising Archive.

The Johnnie Walker Guy—the man your man could taste like.

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Sure, it's shamelessly derivative (Old Spice Guy + World's Most Interesting Man = this jackass). But what ad "idea" isn't? I was (somewhat) entertained and I actually wanted the video to go a little longer—which never happens. Don Johnson, though, felt added on and pathetic. Ad agency: Leo Burnett, Sydney.
Three older Johnnie Walker ads here.

Infographic: Is this what your ad agency is like?

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For some incomprehensible reason, a creative from Toronto ad agency Grip Limited sent me this "Anatomy of an Agency" infographic they created. I work at a very small place, so I'm not going to comment on the jokes here. I've leave that up to you hovering vultures.
Previous ad industry infographics:
• copywriters are douchebags.
• graphic designers are pathetic.
• the evolution of the asinine ad exec, 1960-2011.

The most violent Kellogg's corn flakes ad ever.

(click ad, from 1908, via) She has a closed fist—she's gonna cave in his fucking head! Now this is how to sell cereal. Thanks Vinnie. Previously: Corpse Boy likes Kellogg's corn flakes (1915).

Herman Cain's first Web ad is historically insane.

(via)
Wait for the 40-second mark.
Your leading 2012 Republican Presidential candidate, America.
I want to see him suck Dan Savage's dick.
Previously: Mitt Romney's first Web ad sucks.

Lebanese fast food joint rips off Shepard Fairey's Obama posters.

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United We Sandwich? BIG swing and a miss.
Time to get some boots on the ground there, Barack.
Ad agency: NINETEEN84, Lebanon.
Previously: Shepard Fairey made a really pretty butterfly to fight sexual violence.

Agent Provocateur's Halloween video: naked lesbian vampires of course (nsfw).

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Or are they zombies? No, let's go with vampires; they move too smoothly to be zombies. The black-ish metal track adds to the ambiance. Titled "The Flowers of Evil", the video is one of two introducing AP's Soiree line of unmentionables. The 2nd "short film" (watch here) has a less interesting "Eyes Wide Shut" feel to it, but does feature some light whipping of a ganged-up-on naked gentleman.
So, something for everybody.
Previous Agent Provocateur video: Betty Sue's gettin' down tonight (sfw).

Creepy Japan: Creepy Robotic Clapping Hands.

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Created by Masato Takahashi, a researcher at Keio University, who crafted them from molds of his own arms. He believes that they can be used at concerts to enhance the sound of real clapping or as clapping avatars which allow online viewers to applaud via robots installed onsite at the performance. He’s even said they would make good “spanking machines”.
You think they're creepy now? Wait ten years, when arenas all over the world are filled with them as our machine overlords stage one-sided death matches between human slaves and indestructible killer robots. Their perfect clapping will be the last sound we hear.
Just another reminder that Japan owns creepy.

And, here's this week's racist ad.

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Via Bolivia, for Planet Pizza. Ad agency: NexusBBDO. Half Lakers fan, half raw meat-eating savage. Hmm. I'm trying to cut you some slack in my knee-jerk mind, Bolivia, but I'm coming up empty. Black readers, please weigh in. 
Previous racist ads: • Nivea • Lotte • Dove Body Wash • SkinWhite • and the most racist toothpaste ad ever.

Burning Butt-vertising.

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It's a spec ad, but I LIKE it.
I bet you're digging at your hemorrhoids right this second.
Previously: cool your burning, itching chocolate starfish.
Related: AssCrackVertising.

Depend poop underpants now available in cool gray.

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For the incontinent, cool black man in your life.
It's about fucking time, Kimberly-Clark.
Scanned from yesterday's Parade, of course.
Thanks Vinnie.
Note: All comments asking if copyranter wears Depends will be published.
Previous Depend ad: Pissy Spacek.

Black Women in Advertising.

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Nailed it? Nailed it.
Via Alexandra Dal.
Previously:
• Mr Black Advertising Diversity Doll.
• The latest "diversity" ads via the lily-white ad industry.

Political Ad of the Day: Democracy in action in Tunisia.

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More than 90% of registered Tunisians turned out yesterday to vote for their new general assembly. This poster of hated, exiled president Ben Ali was erected in Tunis by Engagement Citoyen to help get out the vote. A staged stunt? Looks like it. But it makes for a nice spectacle. And with over 400,000 YouTube views in less than a week, it was passed around. 
Related: Gaddafi, Mubarak being attacked by Twitter birds.

Erotic film festival promoted with dick-in-a-popcorn-box stunt.

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Reference.
Hold the hot fake butter, please.
Ad agency: Wax, Canada.
Previously in: Dickvertising.

WTF Japan video of the day.

It's less than a month old, but has amassed 1,780 dislikes.
I think it's for some show on Fuji TV.
Here's the female version. It only has 358 dislikes.
Via WTF Japan Seriously, of course.
Previously in: WTF Japan video of the day.

Here's a good Halloween costume.

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A Freudian slip. Pretty good.
Still doesn't beat the Human Dickwad.

THIS SHOULD BE EVERYBODY'S CAPS LOCK KEY!

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RIP, OH GREAT PERPETUAL OUTDOORS VOICE INFOMERCIAL PITCHMAN. 
Related: the keyboard for blondes.

Link Haze, 10/21/11.

image via.
• God.
• Ad job titles are dumb.
• The 1961 patent for Lego.
• New Smart car commercial.
• Miss Bugs street art is cool.
• Google logo street art in NYC.
• Seattle Burger King billboard gets punked.
• Vanity Fair rewrites Dr Pepper 10's tagline.
• Russian governor promises $17,000 for furless chipmunk.

New York Post delivers the exact Khadafy cover you were expecting.

Previously:
The New York Post bin Laden cover.

Fighting AIDS with a trouser snake and other dated euphemisms.

(click ad, via) Goodby Silverstein & Partners' first poster for French safe sex nonprofit AIDES was good. This new one is bad. Trouser Snake? Bearded Clam? Are you targeting Baby Boomers? Also, it should be funny, right? I think we need to give the account back to TBWA Paris, who produced these superb award-winning posters in 2008, and this superb graffiti penis video last year.

Bunny Grahams Anilingus.

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What do you want? It's goddamn Friday.
Besides, ad people are experts at sucking ass.

Czech bank makes women orgasm (TV spot).

Komerční Banka is a member of the Société Générale Group, and is one of the leading financial institutions in the Czech Republic. Copy translation, according to the YouTube poster: "Enjoy the first banking transaction." There's also a guy version. If I didn't know better, I'd say these were adbusters parody spots. Jesus. Thanks to Maria for the tip. Previously in Women Orgasming in ads:
• Voting in Spain makes women orgasm.
• Microlab speakers make Russian women orgasm.
• Putting on sneakers makes European women orgasm.

Gaddafi in Advertising.

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• Top: Selling life insurance in Australia.
• Middle: Attacked by Twitter birds via a French TV station.
• Bottom Left: Speechless vs. Amnesty International
(translation: Your signatures have power).
• Bottom Right: Afraid of the mouse of the International Society for Human Rights.

Social media sneakers: Twitter and Facebook Keds®.

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Yikes.
These apparently remain only concept sneaks via graphic designer Lumen Bigott. I hope she's copyrighted the idea, because I can see these selling like geekbusters—they're nerdgasmic. She also made Flickr and Youtube styles. I know many of you are droooooling. Previously: Diesel sneakers kick ass. Literally.

The most bizarre tourism commercial you'll ever see.

(via Ad Pulp)
I cannot for sure say that no ants were harmed in the making of this commercial. "Martin Horat is a genuine Swiss 'weather prophet' from the Muotathal in Central Switzerland," says the Swiss National Tourist Office. And Martin says—channeling the ants from that humongous ant hill—that it's going to be a "bloody good winter" in the land of neutrality.
Who am I to argue with the Ant Whisperer? I'm sold. It sure beats going to Vegas and hanging out with a bunch of douchebags.

Subtle Ad of the Day.

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Get it? Good for you.
Too subtle? Probably.
There have been a truckload of good shipping company ads ever since the FedEx fast-talker spots from the 1980s. This one's OK. At least there's an idea. Ad agency: AlmapBBDO, São Paulo. Related: two ad agencies came up with the exact same shipping company idea at the same time.

Pantone X-Mas Balls will make designers touch theirs.

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If you're a ball-less designer, well, you know what to do. I of course hate the absolute fucking Hell out of Christmas. Related: The Blackwater X-Mas tree ornament.

Zombie Steve Jobs, 2011-

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It was only a matter of time, given this country's obsession with the undead. Snapped in Soho NYC by Chris Menning. Related: the 10 worst Steve Jobs tribute ads.

One of the gayest ads ever.

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The GE GAYWALL!
Such a progressive company they were in the 50s.
Related: Vintage homoerotic ads.

Designers: this video will make you touch your genitals.

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Even jaded me has to admit: some of these are very good. By NYC designer Ji Lee. Lee works for Facebook, and used to work at Google Labs. Talented fucker.
Previous nerd posts: Font Nerds • Logo Nerds • Photography Nerds.

Meanwhile in Russia...

(via reddit)
As they say, not a single fuck was given that day.
Previously in: Meanwhile in Russia.

"The world's first video you can taste."

Not remotely funny or interesting, just annoying. Judging by all the "Likes" and dumb "I got duped" comments, I'd say the ad agency people are trolling this thing big time. Part of Rice Krispies new "It's All Lies" UK campaign. Here's a TV spot. The bus stop poster execution was better. Ad agency: Leo Burnett, London.

The new Puma logo (nsfw?).

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And this slow day from posting hell comes to an end.
(Thanks Vinnie)
Related: Bizarre Puma store ad.