Saturday, March 31, 2012

GIF of the Day.

She's looking for a red card on the kid with that fake fall.
Previous epic non-cat GIF:
The Jesus.

Friday, March 30, 2012

This is the strangest Burger King ad I've ever eyed.

(via BuzzFeed)
WINK, WINK (sigh).
Yes, it's a real ad, via The Netherlands.
It surpasses this fucked up German BK ad.

4chan's secret HQ located.

(click, via reddit)
Previously: Photoshop skills:
level, 4chan.

Stupid Fake Dead Dog Advertising.

(click, via)
For the Society for Abandoned Animals in Hong Kong. This is stupid on so many levels, I don't know where to begin. From the press note:
"During peak hours, real size dead pet stickers were placed on the ground of outdoor car parks where abandoned pets will likely be wandering around. When a vehicle stopped by, we actually created the visual impact of an animal being hit down."
Your message is nearly unreadable on the stickers. You're making me late for work. You're getting your message out to literally tens of people. You should have donated the money spent on this awards-grab bullshit to the Society.
Ad agency: Draftfcb, Hong Kong.
Previously in: Fake Dead Dog Advertising (this one is pretty funny).

Here you will see an ad with a badly Photoshopped dress made of pens.

(click, via)
Fridays suck fashion models' stinky feet for ad blogging.
Anyway, did you know Jacksonville Fashion Week is going on RIGHT NOW? Did you know Jacksonville had a Fashion Week? Did you know Jacksonville had fashion? Well, Pilot jumped all over this fucking marketing goldmine with a program ad. And you're a better person for knowing all this. Ad agency: Bright Red TBWA.
Previous noteworthy pen ad:
• Barack Obama exploited to sell uni-ball pens.
Related: Chase loses the Bank Pens War.

2 Cats 1 Kid GIF of the Day.

Hmm. It appears to this cat GIF expert that the 2nd feline was tossed.
Previous GIF where a pet destroys a kid.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

After reading this ad, you will never walk near an Australian construction site ever again.

(click, via JB_AU)
"Recovery" sells hangover "remedy" pills and drinks. That's quite a photo. If he also washes his alcohol-soaked body with Axe "Recovery" hangover curing shower gel, he'll be as good as new, I'm sure.

The apolitical Etch-a-Sketch ads everybody was hoping for.

(click, via)
You get a golden PR opportunity like Mitt Romney's stupid aide Eric Fehrnstrom provided last week, you have to jump on it. And thankfully, Ohio Art—via their ad agency Team Detroit—jumped on it fast. Not great ads, but good enough.
Previously: Romney Etch-a-Sketch art is classic.

Which agency had this exact same stupid bad hair ad idea first?

(click ads, via)
Top—ad for Topcuts, a chain of Toronto salons. Ad agency: Taxi 2.
Bottom—ad for Kanechom, a Brazilian hair care company. Translation: "We know how you feel on a bad hair day." Ad agency: Filadélfia.
Both ads released this week.
Previously in Who Had It First:
Two exact child sexual abuse adsFedEx vs. Aramex, both awarding-winning.

The first ever ad for the first ever Wal-Mart.

(click, via WWD)
This is where the Evil began, in 1962.
Even atrocious design sense couldn't stop evil Sam Walton.
Related: Five peeks inside the Evil of Wal-Mart.

So, Hay Bale Advertising is a Thing in Germany.

Top: Garnier—"The cure for parched, damaged hair." Ad agency: Publicis, Frankfurt. Bottom: Düsseldorf has the largest Japanese community in Germany. So the restaurant Maruyasu, via their agency TBWA, draped sushi tarps over hay bails near the entrance to the city. This is the winner of the two ideas. Meanwhile, the Ad Creep takeover of every available space/thing in our lives continues, unabated.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

World Map: Metal Bands per 100,000 People.

It may have been born in the UK, but it lives in Scandinavia.
Previously: a map of every McDonald's in America.

If you laugh at this GIF, you're going to Hell.

But that's OK, because there is no Hell.
So laugh at this one, too.

New Boston Bruins web video is the best hockey advertising ever.

I am a lifelong Montreal Canadiens fan. And, therefore, there is nothing on this ever-warming planet that I hate more than the Boston Bruins and their slack-jawed, mono-syllabic fans.
The Bruin Bear spots of the past were funny. But, this, this here is brilliant. I laughed out loud two or three times. And this is just the teaser for more sit-com style shorts to come.
I don't think pencil-necked Jack Edwards should have been in on the fun, though; he's seriously the worst hockey play-by-play announcer in the history of ice.
Ad agency: Arnold Worldwide.

"Shit Kids Say" video is a dark, effective child abuse awareness ad.

Unlike 90% of these types of PSAs, I think this new spot for UK children's charity NSPCC might actually prompt some action—because the kid actors sell it. It's good, but not quite as good as this amazingly powerful Irish child cruelty TV commercial from last year.
Directed by Amanda Boyle. Ad agency: Inferno, London.

Real dead animals used in Chinese environmental ads.

(click, via)
The ad agency press note:
We've poisoned their food supply and destroyed their natural habitats. With flocks of birds falling out of the sky and whales beaching themselves on the shore, its like nature is giving us a sign; enough is enough. Maybe, just maybe, we've pushed nature too far and animals are giving up and taking their own lives. With this in mind, we created a campaign for the China Environmental Protection Foundation featuring animal suicide. All the animals we used were already dead when we found them. Did they take their own lives? Who knows, but who could blame them if they did? We hope this campaign will make people sit up and take notice of the damage we are doing to our planet.
What do think? Effective? Ineffective? Creepy? Funny (the mice ad is pretty funny)? The sparrow got drunk before it hung itself. Ad agency: O&M, Hong Kong.
Previously, the organization did this impressive disposable chopsticks tree installation.

Video Ad for Big Richard Vibrating Condoms (nsfw-ish).

Big Richard's naughty pack of condoms comes with a vibrating cock ring. So she can still get off when you're done working. OK. Ad agency: Level 34 Group, an Australian ad agency owned by Big Richard founder Lloyd Perry, who previously sent a Thank You letter to the Pope. Previously: Bangkok Cock Ring Ads.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Butt Cookies.

(click, via)
@ Perera & Sons bakery in Sri Lanka.
200 grams of ass. I am an ass man.
Previously: Titty muffins.

Tip: If you're going to make type out of cigar smoke, MAKE IT READABLE.

(click, via)
"A gentlemen is simply a patient...wule"? "blolo"?
Ad agency: Y&R Toronto.
Previously: Sexist Cigar Institute of America ad, 1962.

New York City's trash is cooler than your city's trash.

(click, via EV Grieve)
On Eighth Street, between B and C. Related: An ad I did for BFI Waste Services that insulted the NYC mob.

Creepy Phacial Photoshop Ads of the Week.

From 2007. Ad agency: Grey Singapore.
Previously in: Phacial Photoshop Abuse.

Mitt Romney: the sketchiest Presidential candidate in history.

This is not Photoshop. It was Etch a Sketched by artist George Vlosich. Look at Mittens: Has there ever been a more disingenuous half smile? The CEO of Ohio Art is pretty damn happy. Via. Previously: Romney's Spotify playlist.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Photo of the Day.

New York State Senator Eric Adams (right) in session today.
Brooklyn, representing. Via.

High School Class Photo of the Day.

(via reddit)

Edge Gel does Big Dick ads.

(via MultiCultClassics)
How would I use that 10 grand to get my "edge"? I'd get my penis enlarged and en-thickened using all the latest, most expensive and dangerous techniques. Now send me the fucking money, morons. For your viewing pleasure, here's 13 more examples of DickVertising (some nsfw).

This is a real commercial via Turkey featuring Hitler selling men's shampoo.

(via adland)
"If you're not wearing women's clothes, you shouldn't be using women's shampoo either. Here it is. A real man's shampoo. Biomen. Real men use Biomen."
The ad is, amazingly, still running, despite vocal protestations.
Man up, you metrosexual Turks. Be like der Führer!
I repeat: Hitler—what can't he sell?

Starting the week with a grenade butt plug ad.

(click, via)
For the "Love Store" in Kishinev, Moldova, your headquarters for explosive butt sex. Guys, research shows that Monday is the best day to ask for butt sex. Ad agency: Looma. Previous butt sex ads: Bowling PinSubtleMore SubtleDisgustingHilarious.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Proof that New York City is the most sophisticated place in the world.

@ the 23rd st. 6th Ave. subway station.

THIS JUST IN: The new worst commercial of 2012.

Is this the most infuriating payoff from a commercial ever, or what. I want my 50 seconds of life back, you Dockers® dickwads. Granted, part of what makes it a terrible payoff is that the phone booth footage is wonderfully art directed. No matter. Note to Dockers®: your khakis are not supermanly. They're not even manly. From their YouTube note:
"The modern man of action saves the day every day in a million small ways. Dress the part. Wear the pants."
What a load of disingenuous crap.
Ad agency: Draftfcb San Francisco.

"Latest Interplanetary Design" in Space Helmets, 1953.

(via Paul Malon)
There were a lot of cheap-ass, ugly-ass "space helmets" produced in America in the 1950s-60s. But this one is the cheap-ass-iest, ugly-ass-iest one I've ever seen. It looks like it was made in about 10 minutes from shit from some guy's house. Previously: classroom of the future, according to 1950s Japan.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Trayvon Martin-inspired facebook photo of the Day.

(via reddit)

Belvedere vodka pulls "rapey" facebook ad.

At least, that's what everybody called it yesterday (Forbes, Jezebel, etc). And the French brand pulled the ad from facebook and twitter less than an hour after posting it.
But here's another possible interpretation of the above headline/visual scenario from an ad-making and blowjob-receiving veteran: maybe he has a John Holmesian penis and, well, she's frightened?

OK, no, everybody's right: rapey.

Belvedere has done blowjob inspired layouts before (one, two).

Anyway, what is it with alcohol brands and rape scenarios?

Friday, March 23, 2012

"Unnecessary" Quotation Marks of the Day—Inception version.

(click, via)
Unnecessarily punctuated Punctuation is unnecessary punctuation is punctuation that is punctuated unnecessarily by punctuation.
Chicken Little is right, the sky is falling. Previously: Necessary "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks of the Day.

The best lamppost ad ever.

From 2008. Real or fake, I don't care. Really nice idea. Ad agency: Grey, Lebanon. Previously: the best outdoor ad installation ever.

THE coolest thing you will see today.

Marshall. Amp. Fridge.
Devil Horns, you emo pussies.

The funniest starving African ads I've ever seen.

(click, via)
What are these, ads for JBL?
Yes, not all Africans. Roll with my hyperbolic headline.
To quote the AofW commenter CuriousPencil: "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a speaker and his boat will fucking sink."
Talk about your completely fucked up visual metaphors. "Hello actionaid? My ox has dropped dead from the weight of your speakers. Could you send a microphone, or possibly a bullhorn? Or another ox?"
A shame so much money was spent on these beautiful layouts.
Ad agency: DLV BBDO Italy.
Previously: donate your liposuctioned fat to starving Africans.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

What George Lois, a real ad mad man, has to say about "Mad Men".

"It’s OK to do a show like that, but when they announced that the show was going to be about ‘the incredible period of the advertising industry in the 1960s,’ everybody thought it was going to be about me. All over the world I’m called ‘the original mad man.’ My bitch about it is the fact that it’s a show about a bunch of scum bags. All they do is screw the secretaries, drink themselves to death, smoke themselves to death and produce piss advertising. And this is happening during the Vietnam War, the Civil Rights movement and women’s liberation? All the important things going on in the world and they’ve got that piss-ass show?"
Exactly. Piss advertising. Via Paper Magazine.

Hilarious Birthday Cake Wreck of the Day.

According to the redditor, the instructions were to write "50th" in the red flag.
Good. I fucking hate golf.

How to perfectly sell beer in 10 seconds (TV spots).

This is how.
From the press note: "Finns are the most punctual people in Europe. We are very protestant when it comes to work ethics. We work until the eight hours have been completed. Our film shows the first 0.5 seconds after the workday has finished on any given Friday."
It's like "Miller Time", except for, you know, smart people.
Ad agency: 358 Helsinki.

Brooklyn Bushmills whiskey poster gets nicely hijacked.

(click, via New York Shitty)
On purified Bedford Ave.
Previously: McDonald's billboard in Bristol gets hijacked.

This week's wonderful 1960s VW Bus ad.

(click, via)
Simple, compelling visual. Smart headline. Selling copy. Are you not sold, yet, time traveler from the past? Go back to the 60s and buy one already, dummy!
Three more brilliant vintage VW Bus ads here, here, and here.

Reebok ad advises you to cheat on your girlfriend.

Nice copy combo: offensive and stupid.
Reebok says the ad only appeared inside one German gym (I doubt that). Still, the hubbub over it did force the brand to issue a pathetic apology, a spokesperson saying Reebok didn't "condone this message or cheating in any way." Good to know. Fyi, Reebok Germany has a history of producing sexist ads. Via Business Insider.

The best TV commercials for a porn channel ever!

First, why the FUCK haven't I ever gotten the chance to work on a porn account?
Second, These videos for Canada's Amour Adult TV are fucking hard-on perfect. So simple. So...FUCK. Thirdly, I hate you lucky fuckers at Dare Vancouver (the ad agency). Second spot below featuring "Officer Biggs" (heh). And here's the third spot, "Special Delivery". Related—this is also very good, via Germany: the classiest porn commercial ever.

Mr. Tire, the scariest fucker on the freeway.

(click, via reddit) Since he started using his fake back trucks, Mr Tire's business has increased 57%. "Call Mr. Tire, that's the name. That name again is Mr. Tire." Meanwhile in Russia, tires are sold with a commercial featuring the sexxxy Better Traction Rubber Dancers.

Image of murdered North Carolina student being used on Indian billboards.

Eve Carson, student body president at the University of North Carolina, was shot and killed in March 2008. Jubeerich Consultancy (website) is a company that offers overseas study opportunities and job placement. The billboard appears in two locations on National Highway 49 in southern India, according to the Raleigh News and Observer. Jubeerich has apologized and promised to take down the boards. Lesson: Don't use Google Image search to find a random pretty face for your ads. Idiots. (Thanks for the tip, Jake).

The two best ads from the Newsweek Mad Men issue.

Many of you have emailed me asking which of the retro style ads I liked from this week's "collectors" edition of Newsweek, so here's my answer: none of them. Honestly, I was very disappointed.
But, if I had to pick two, the GEICO and Benetton ones above would be it, with the GEICO being my least disliked (nice chair). I don't like the Benetton UnHate campaign, but I like the use of the astronaut and cosmonaut here. (Except, why use captions under them? We're not fucking idiots).
Ad agencies—GEICO: The Martin Agency; Benetton: 72andSunny.
See all the ads from the issue here.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The cutest kid in a commercial this year, maybe ever.

And I hate kids!
But I love everything about this spot. The narrative, the writing, and that goddamn charming British brat—she delivers the commercial acting performance of the year.
Anybody know Oreo's UK ad agency? It's Draftfcb in the US.
Thanks Joseph.

Favorite All-time Dog GIF.

Hey, the kid ran a red light. Probably drunk.
View three awesome cat GIFs starting here.