The assimilation of Negro Francie.

(click image, via) Barbie's new Mod Squad. Not pictured: Dark Donnie, Ken's new soul friend. From a Mattel ad in the December 1967 Family Circle. Dedicated to T.A.N. previously in retro ad racism: Slack Power!

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: New Zealand road safety.

Have you ever seen a billboard bleed? (link)

Business magazines pulling out all the desperate publicity stunts.

(click image) Business magazines, like all magazines, are having a bumpy ride these days. Earlier this month, The Economist set up a prissy branded mechanical bull in Dallas to show Texans that, while they are a stuffy UK publication, they understand cattle and cowboys and oil and shit. Now, Wirtschaftwoche (economics week), Germany's leading business mag, presents "the world's first executive chair rodeo" which they're setting up at trade fairs. Who had the lame idea first?!? It's insightful, original thinking like this that will enable Deutsche execs who read the rag to "stay on top." Uh, pass? That thing looks ridiculously dangerous. Stay off it uninsured unemployed! By Hamburg ad agency Jung von Matt. (image via).

This sh*t don't stink.

Another of the urbane topics I keep track of with diligence here on copyprigger is shit-related advertising, whether that be ads for products directly related to shitting, or an MTV promo spot that uses smelly disgusting shit as a linchpin. This cow pie is actually a cushy seat with logo given out by the thousands by a Belgian radio station last summer before several field music festivals. I'm posting it because it just won a Cannes Design Bronze Lion last week. Now scat.

Swedish AIDS organization wants you to F*ck & Tell.

(click ads) It's racy AIDS awareness ads day on copyranter. Above are a couple of teaser ads for Lafa, a Stockholm AIDS prevention program. They're handing out 100,000 numbered condoms this summer, with the hope that dirty sexy Swedes will tell their amorous tales online, Penthouse letters style. The wedding party ad is the strongest of the series, though I do like the hat-size subtext going on, left. Below is one of the :15 spots from the campaign, the rest of which can be seen here. Abstinence advocates are shitting bricks the world over.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Wakker Dier.

A Dutch animal rights group shows PETA how to execute sex and gore. (link)

(nsfw) VaginaVertising.

(click ad) H-I-Very racy ad for LILA, a national Italian organization fighting for the rights of AIDS/HIV patients. "It could happen to everyone." OK, so, ad's making two points, I guess? Women get AIDS, too? And sticking the P in the V could mean HIV? Whatever, that's some pretty freaky retouching of the woman's vaginal valley to make that capital "V." And I don't really know what partially showing her nipples accomplishes (image via). Previous VaginaVertising: Tom Ford. The Kotex Beaver. Absolut Vagina. Previous AIDS awareness ads: MTV. Kenneth Cole. Quebec AIDS Coalition. And the coolest AIDS prevention ads ever produced.

Link Haze, 6/26/09.

• will.i.shill.
• Hitler's gold bookmark.
• Koogle is kosher Google.
• 1950s Air Force recruitment spot.
• You can't spell EAT ME without ATM.
• Pentagram redesigns for Marlboro (via).
• Space station photo of erupting Russian volcano.
• UK bookstores promote The Crimes of Josef Fritzl for Father's Day.

Cannes judges don't know their ads from a hole in the ground.

Fred & Farid's pretentious "We are animals" Wrangler hooey won the Press Grand Prix. You gotta be fucking kidding me, Lubars, et al. Here was my review of the stupid print ads from last August. (image via)

Viagra sold with subtle sleaziness in South Africa.

(click ads) In America, we get the awful Whiskey Dicks singing "Viva Viagra." In China, the cock stiffening pill is sold with scary thermonuclear sperm rockets. Ogilvy in Johannesburg just won a Silver Lion at this week's Cannes Advertising Festival for these wink-wink, nudge-nudge executions that add an old-age twist to age-old scenarios. The milkman buttoning his jacket is a nice touch (images via).

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Michael Jackson.

In the coming months, get ready for some cringe-worthy ads borrowing MJ imagery. In the meantime, here's two from 2008. (link)

High-tech anti-domestic violence advertising.

(click image) This is waaay more innovative than those blood soap dispenser ads. This interactive poster (which just won a Cannes Silver Lion this week) was erected at a bus stop in Hamburg (no, Berlin), Germany. An eye tracking camera was installed in the board, so that when you looked directly at the domestic violence, after a delay, the scene morphed into spousal harmony. "It happens when nobody is watching." Pretty clever and pretty useless, since this lone installation was built for Amnesty International by agency Jung von Matt primarily to win ad awards. Previously in: anti-domestic violence ads. Previously in: Amnesty International ads.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Creative Recreation sneakers.

Graffiti artwork comes to life and kills the street artist. OK, not really. It just steals his shoes. (link)

E*TRADE investment honcho-babies rap with Mellody Hobson.

The Good Morning America financial contributor recently sat down with the shilling tot (can't find his name online) and his new buddy "Benny" for an investing 101 e-chat. It's mildly entertaining, though it doesn't effectively sell E*TRADE to me at fucking all. Still, these days, I'd rather watch fake talking babies or fetching puppies or hot Italian MILFs than the jittery stock ticker (by Grey NY, via). Previously in: investment advertising.

PETA exploits the deaths of Jacqueline Fleming and her newborn son.

Fleming was the first European to die from the current Swine Flu outbreak. PETA, who last August amazingly attempted to bleed a bus beheading to promote vegetarianism, have apparently purposely erected this billboard (pic please) outside the Glasgow hospital where the pregnant Fleming was a patient, according to Brand Republic. The responsible assholes deserve to be beaten to death with gourds.
Previously in: PETA stunts.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Fiat.

The early winners are in from the International Advertising Douchebag Diddle on the Côte d'Azur. These cute ads are my favorites, so far. (link)

The New King of Blow Job Ads.

(click ad) "Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled..." Well, this ad via Singapore for the BK Super Seven Incher is the new leading "most overtly blow-jobby ad" I've ever seen, surpassing this one, this one, and even this one. Nice misogynistic touch making the woman look like a fucking blow-up doll. Note the Photoshopped-enhanced creamy white mayo. (image via, another version first seen here). related: ABSOLUT 8". update: this ad is NOT by cp+b, and just for the record, I didn't tell anybody it was.

State Street's puppy doggy would never eat your money.

OMG! This cute widdle fox terrier could end the big bad financial crisis all by his self, if we'd just let him! Previously, State Street has used horrible bridge disaster imagery and a misguided Zulu warrior metaphor to try and scare us into investing with them. Now, with this new TV spot for their SPDR family of ETFs, the Boston-based financial firm has unleashed precious Precision Dog to melt our hearts and warm our cold investing feet. Don't crush my nest egg, boy! Ad by agency The Gate Worldwide—creators of one of the worst self-promo ads I've ever seen (via).

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Coca-Cola.

View an ironic ugly 200,000 can sculpture over the white cliffs of Sussex promoting national recycling week in the UK. (link)

Dickvertising via France.

(click ads) Ladies and Gay gentlemen, feast your eyes on this series of transit ads for Dark Dog energy drink that reader Shelley spotted at tramway stops in France last week. The black man has the smallest blurred package! Copy translation: "Clearly viewed on the Internet. Choose your size on darkdogcity.com." Grab a Dark Dog dudes, it's Speedo stuffin' season on the Côte d'Azur! (campaign by Data Projekt in Alsace, images via)
Previously in Dickvertising: Tom of Finland. NYC Museum of Sex BJ Balloons. John White's big phallic shoes. Playstation 3's penis thumb ad. Mr Min's Pornocchio. Viagra's Whiskey Dicks. related: Dickman's Meat of Tucson, AZ.

(nsfw?) Mountain biking over the fat of the land.

(click ads) Fleshy print ads via Brobdingnag and Switzerland for Sportsplausch Wider bikes. In the hairy spare-tire male version, left, the biker is definitely having trouble gaining traction through the Jeremy Piven-like stomach brush. And in the unpleasantly plump female version, right—Yikes! Is that ass crack? Nothing like shoving the slothiness of sedentary slobs right in their fat faces. These would make nice un-PC motivational posters in NYC gym spinning class rooms. Previously in exercise advertising: Crunch. Equinox. Reebok running. Pearl Izumi. Asics. Men's Health.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Panadol Cold & Flu.

These puzzling ads via China seem to blame Britney Spears and George W. Bush for the current H1N1 pandemic. (link)

Creep Overload: Andy Dick as Ronald McDonald.

Last Thursday, noted molester/flasher Andy Dick dressed up as Mickey D's menacing mascot and led a small PETA protest against chicken cruelty outside of a downtown Chicago McDonald's. I have nothing to add except that this was, without question, one of the scariest moments in the history of the world. (via PETA). previous celebs for PETA: Pam Anderson. Jenna Jameson. Corey Feldman. Pink & Ricky Gervais. previously in: bad McDonald's ads.

Link Haze, 6/19/09.

• 1946-2009, RIP.
• Lady Parts™ auto.
• Lesbian albatrosses.
• Barf laundry detergent.
• Republicans racist? Nah.
• Wanna be a writer? Read this.
• MTA makes Sikhs brand turbans.
• Leaning Center commercials are bad.
• Ads projected on golf umbrellas. I hate golf.
• Hawk flies into an East Village chicken joint called Birdies...
• Meet the Russian officer who didn't press the button in 1983.
• Michael Phelps picks up first sponsorship deal since hemp shop ads.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: United Church of Canada.

It's a cross made out of two marijuana cigarettes. (link)

Bacardi says the hot accessory this summer is an "Ugly Girlfriend"

Update: both sites have been taken down by the agency/Bacardi.
(click images) HA? Bacardi, through Tel Aviv ad agency McCann Digital, has launched a promotional minisite (here's the actual site in Hebrew) for their fruit-flavored Breezer drinks with four "ugly girlfriends" for you to choose from, depending on the activity. Upgrade your trips to the beach with Sally (right)." She's "97 kilograms of femininity, strength, and double chins." There's also Lucy (left), who's "rubbing thighs...and drooping breasts will turn any trip to the mall into an unforgettable experience." Looking for any saving irony here...finding none (via). Previously in: misogynistic alcohol advertising.

1960s auto ad sexism: American and Import versions.

(click ads to read copy)
Travel back to a buygone era when women did not drive, and hard-drinking ad Mad Men wrote hard fucking sell car copy.
(L)—"He's taught me how to shift the 4-speed synchromesh. He lets me pick out the stereo tapes. And clean the vinyl buckets. It's not all bad. He even mentioned marriage once." Ralph's a keeper, missy.
(R) "Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things...She can jab the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper. It may make you furious but it won't make you poor." Give me the keys and go vacuum, Mrs. McCrash.
Images via. Previously in: retro ad sexism.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Financial Times.

After much illegal Obama-usurping advertising, The London paper has scored the first official Bam endorsement ad. (link)

retroslutty: 1964 Frederick's of Hollywood catalog.

(click pages) Get that "marry-a-millionaire" look! Pages from a wonderful 1964 catalog for Frederick's, the world's foremost purveyor of cheap whore couture for street walkers, sweet talkers, and rich cad stalkers since 1946. Lucky was the horny pubescent boy who got his hands on one of these treasured publications in the 70s-80s when the catalogs featured live models and included some booby and booty peeks. Sigh. (images via flickr) Previously in sleazy retro products: The Nipple Bra™. The Love Rug™. The Love Maid™.

Next stop on the worldwide PhotoShop BodyChop tour: Germany.

(click ad) In this poster ad for the Post Office of Germany, the bloodthirsty Deutsche ad creatives—not content with merely digitally carving a mail slot into this studly man's waxed chest to illustrate the emotional power of the written letter—just had to show you some fake fucking entrails, too (via). Previous stops on the worldwide PhotoShop BodyChop tour: Portugal. Saudi Arabia. France. Brazil. Australia. South Korea. And the scariest via Switzerland.

MTV throws us a few boners.

It's tits and dicks week here on copyranter. I'm sure things'll return to the usual high level of sophisticated discourse tomorrow. Previously, MTV Brazil used smelly shit humor to promote itself. Now, MTV Argentina has produced phony prodigious pubescent protuberances. It's the most outrageous of three spots in a new gratingly irreverent "If it's MTVish, we have it" campaign via La Comunidad in Buenos Aires. Not to air anytime ever in the US. previously: MTV AIDS awareness advertising.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Monte Carlo casino.

An Ab So Loot Lee More Ron Ick campaign. (link)

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: AboveTheInfluence.com

With this new video, our parental government is yet again trying to get it through teens' thick skulls that drugs=BAD. (link)

wonderbra turns a button-down blouse into a deadly weapon.

(click ad) The Milan office of UK agency Leagas Delaney and wonderbra have combined on a new integrated ad campaign literally bursting with booby sexism. As the print ad above and video below painfully illustrate: stare at heaving wonderbra-encased breasts at your own risk, lads. (I'm too lazy to translate to English. Besides, you get the unsubtle, juvenile message.) There's more at the accompanying website, including a chance for you to vote for your favorite reader-submitted Miss wonderbra Button. Well, like pretty much every wonderbra ad effort I've seen in recent years (except this one), the unrealistic fantasy message here appeals mostly to men. Not surprising, since the creative team at Leagas was all male. Ladies? Does this make you want to buy a wonderbra?

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Vitasnella bottled water.

Ads featuring a naked woman sitting on a clothes hanger. (link)

How to make a child jackhammer.

Friday was World Day Against Child Labour. To, eh, hammer this home, the International Trade Union Confederation created this short faux-lab video which I find pretty goddamn funny. I'm thinking childish humor is probably not the way to go with this subject. But I don't care, because I hate kids (via). Previously in: anti-child abuse ads.

"Imagine having that sensual cold weather look all the time..."

(click ad to read copy, via.) While many 1970s wymyn were busy burning their bras, others surreptitiously put up a false front. This was the bra of choice for ladies looking to spend some horizontal time on the sensual Love Rug. Diametrically related: Mexican seamless lingerie ad features a topless, nipple-less model.

Link Haze, 6/12/09.

• Shrimp-flavored crack.
• Brooklyn retail ad writing Hall of Fame.
• This week's great moment in real estate ads.
• Weed beneficial for treating heroin addiction.
• Tour a 300-acre derelict London insane asylum.
• New York freelancers will take on your toxic briefs.
• Hmm. How to get whitey to shop for booze in da 'hood. Racism!

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Diesel Only The Brave.

Watch a triptych video for Diesel's new fragrance. It reeks of Warholian pointlessness. (link)